Ten letters, three syllables…simple enough, right? How hard can it be?
To feel compassion towards someone who has lied, hurt or manipulated you is certainly not an easy feat….
In this blog post I am going to share how choosing to view people with compassion has completely changed my outlook and ultimately my relationships.
I’ve adapted this new belief, whereby I choose to believe that everyone is doing the best that they can with the skills, coping strategies and life experiences they have.
I’ve stopped internalizing and taking other people’s choices personally…because as humans we all have the capacity to be selfish. I think that many people fail to consider how their choices impact other people in their lives and I have learned to be okay with that.
Implementing this new outlook has made me realize the number of hours that I have wasted trying to analyze, decode and understand why people make the decisions that they do/did.
Within the past year, something changed for me. I started looking at people with more compassion than I ever had. It may seem like common sense, but I began to realize that a person in my life was not engaging in behaviours that I viewed as self-destructive because he had a personal vendetta against me. But rather, I changed my mindset to: what if he was coping with the only strategy he knew how? Self-destructive or not. I let go of expectations and began implementing compassion.
This may not fit or be appropriate for every turbulent or estranged relationship..but I do think it brings forth an interesting perspective. It has reminded me the importance of not getting wrapped up in other people’s choices especially given I am not able to control the outcome. I’ve learned to “stay in my lane” and focus on myself. And ultimately how compassion can help to heal old wounds. I genuinely believe that this has drastically improved all of my significant relationships; turbulent or not.
If you have a turbulent relationship with someone, whether that be with a parent, family member, family friend etc., I encourage you to take a minute and reflect on this. Consider implementing compassion as opposed to carrying on with resentment or bitterness. This will likely not take place overnight, but as the days go on you may feel the anger and resentment slowly begin to fade away.
I’d love to hear you thoughts.
As always, I am rooting for you.